Tuesday, January 25, 2011

His Dark Lord Has Gone Pro in e-Sports!

As some of you may or may not know, I have recenlty become a huge fan of the real-time strategy game Starcraft II. Since entering the sci-fi world where one gathers minerals and gas in order to build up an army to pulverize an opposing player, I have dreamed of going pro in the ever growing world of e-sports, and moving to Korea where I could make a living playing computer games and marry this Asian chick:



Well citizenz, it looks like I am one step closer.


Watch live streaming video from ascweekly at livestream.com


Now, don't let those e-sportscasters lead you to believe I suck. They are just jealous of my master plan.

And don't worry, when I become a millionaire, you can all be part of my entourage who carries my mouse and keyboard and headphones when I go to matches, and you can have all the sushi and hot Asian phu-tang you can stand once the computers are shut down.
Posted by His Dark Lord at 9:28 AM
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11 comments:

  1. EamesJanuary 25, 2011 at 10:14 AM

    I know a celebrity!

    ReplyDelete
  2. UnknownJanuary 25, 2011 at 10:58 AM

    i think the saddest thing about this is that I sat there and watched this webcast live.

    ReplyDelete
  3. The DudeJanuary 25, 2011 at 10:23 PM

    I could only stand to watch two minutes of it. Did you win? Considering that you had to defend yourself against the, um, "sportscasters," I'm guessing no.

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousJanuary 26, 2011 at 2:47 PM

    "ASCW= asses sitting and chatting about whatever" haha! Yes sir...I watched the whole thing. Good job screwing the pooch!

    ReplyDelete
  5. The DudeJanuary 26, 2011 at 2:49 PM

    If that is the acronym for the people who sit around and commentate what is the acronym for people who sit around and listen to the people sitting around commentating?

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousJanuary 26, 2011 at 3:33 PM

    your mom!

    ReplyDelete
  7. His EminenceJanuary 26, 2011 at 7:16 PM

    Roach, what happened to your goal of being a chess grandmaster? Dont tell me your giving it up for this shit. by the way that game looks awesome. and if I was not nearly as cool as I am I would play it.

    ReplyDelete
  8. The DudeJanuary 26, 2011 at 9:05 PM

    Nice burn, Mr. Eminence. Reminds me of a line Artie Lang used at the William Shatner roast: "I would have watched you show when I was in high school, Shatner, but I was too busy drinking, doing drugs and getting laid." Of course, Artie Lang is now a heroin addict who tried to commit suicide but whatever.

    ReplyDelete
  9. His Dark LordJanuary 27, 2011 at 8:19 AM

    Starcraft is chess on sci-fi techno steroid acid.

    I had to trade in the chess board for a keyboard when you moved, as you were the only man amongst boys in this town who understood the value of a glass of whiskey, a nice cigar, and a regal game of chess.

    ReplyDelete
  10. His EminenceJanuary 27, 2011 at 6:01 PM

    ahhhhhh the good ole days

    ReplyDelete
  11. His EminenceJanuary 29, 2011 at 4:40 PM

    I just noticed the major camel toe that asian chick is sporting. Looks like she is smuggling a Yo-Yo

    ReplyDelete

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